I have always been a “why” person. Most kids constantly ask the “why” question and eventually grow out of this phase. I never grew out of the “why” question (Thank God for my patient parents). I guess who I am as a “why” person stems from where I began.
I am adopted.
Being adopted is always a great conversation starter. And being the most socially awkward person ever, this is always my default. For example, whenever I am meeting new people and am told to introduce myself and say something interesting I always say “I am adopted”. The conversation usually shifts to “Do you know your parents?”, “Do you want to meet your family?”, “Is it hard to be adopted/Are your glad that your adopted?”.
“Yes, I do know who my parents. Their names are Dale and Debby. They are the most loving and patient people I know. And no, I do not know my BIOLOGICAL parents. My adoption is closed and I know very little about my biological family.”
*In Indiana all formal adoptions prior to 1993 were closed adoptions.
“I have a family, I grew up with them in Greenwood, Indiana. I love my family. I do have a strong interest in meeting my BIOLOGICAL family. I was told that I have two brothers and I would love to meet them. I am very interested in exploring another part of who I am.”
“I do not find it difficult to be adopted. I do not think about it everyday, but it is a part of who I am. When I was a teenager I had strong feelings of resentment about my adoption. I was bitter to everyone around me. I felt that a part of me had been taken but I did not know anything about that part. Since I came to know the Lord I have a redefined understanding of adoption. I can see the deeply engrained love and grace that is found in the actions of adoption.”
Back to the WHY
Because I am adopted I have always been swayed to ask “why”. I have always have an extreme curiosity to know a different side of myself. In the psychology classes I took in college we would always go over twin studies and adoption studies. The studies would show the similarities between the family members even with having never known each other. These topics in class would always get me thinking about why I do the things I do. My curiosity to ask why also prompted me to desire to work with people and help them to answer their “why” questions. So I went to school for social work, and I learned to have an extreme love for research.
So why explain my love for the question “why” and my adoption story?
I have started my journey of attempting to locate and communicate with my biological family.
In Indiana at the age of 21 any adoptee can legally search for their biological family. Why 21? Who knows?!
I have always wanted to bein this journey but the timing was never right until recently. Now I have a child and I am married and I am settled into my life. I am content with where I am and I would not change a thing. The timing finally feels right.
The Journey begins…
Two weeks ago I submitted my information to the Indiana Adoption Registry hoping that my family had also registered. I got a letter in return stating that there was no match but that I could hire a confidential informant (CI) to help find my family. The letter listed the names and phone numbers of the CI’s in Indiana. So I googled confidential informant in Indiana and the name Jill Freeman popped up, she was on the list in the letter. When I looked her up I found out that she was part of Kirsh and Kirsh, the adoption agency I was adopted through.
From there I sent an e-mail to Jill and explained my situation and that I was wanted to reconnect with my biological family. She responded the very next day and told me the steps in the process, they were so easy. I called her and gave her my information and she went somewhere in the office and located my file! She told me that she had my file and my biological mothers information. She had it in her hand! I was floored and amazed, everything felt so surreal.
Today Jill called me and told me that she had reached out to my biological mom. She said that her son had answered and that she was not home but would call back. OMG I have a brother?! Everything seems so close and so surreal. This journey is not over and has only just begun….
And now I wait
I do not know what I will say if I am given the opportunity. I have no clue where to begin and I have so much anxiety about it all. I know that God’s plan was for me to be adopted, and I am beyond thankful. He wanted for me to be raised by amazing parents who love me unconditionally to the moon and back. I have hope that I will be able to thank my biological mom for her decision and tell her all that she gave me.
I am praying that I will meet her and my BROTHER! (As an only child this is mind blowing). And I pray that I will finally find out the answers to my many “why” questions.
Thanks for reading, I’ll keep you updated on this new and exciting journey!